Deep Purple Sucks
By Rachel Dean,
It's not easy being a 16 year old girl trying to navigate your way through high school these days. Especially when you hate Deep Purple as much as I do.
Now I know what your thinking, 'it's 2008 and kids don't even listen to Deep Purple these days.'
Exactly!!
Nobody listens to Deep Purple and I fucking HATE DEEP PURPLE!! AARRGGHH!! Seriously it's like WTF!! Who can I even talk to about how overrated the 'Machinehead' album was? That creepy guidance counselor I made out with when I was the only kid who had inhouse last semester? Please. He doesn't know shit about Deep Purple. He doesn't even know who Jon Lord is.
Ever since Freshman year when I started getting into hating Deep Purple, it's like I started seeing the world through a new set of eyes.
Now when I hear all the other girls in homeroom talking about Britney Spears, and how much of a skank she is, i'm just like "ummmm hellooo...could you be any lamer"
And they're all "Ahhhh, whatever Rachel you bitch. Britney's such a skank that her kids had to be taken away 'cause she's such a whore"
And I'm like "Pssh!!Britney's not even half as much of a skank as Richie Blackmore."
Sometimes I think about running away to a big city like San Francisco where I could go to a party and somebody would play Smoke on the Water on the radio and I could yell "TURN THAT SHIT OFF!!"
That would never happen in this town. Kids around here don't even listen to Steppenwolf, nevermind the poormans Steppenwolf who turned into the poor mans Black Sabbath. (A.K.A. Deep Purple...Don't tell me that YOU didn't even catch the reference)
If only I was born in the late 70's. I could've been a Gen X kid. Those kids were bitter, synical, and they took shitty music serious. Real serious. I mean, most of them grew up with parents who had Bat Out of Hell from Meatloaf on Cassette. They were forced into long car rides with Uptown Girl from Billy Joel blaring from their parents Dodge Caravans. To say they were well schooled and intolerant of a shitty band is a major understatement.
Those kids would have understood what I mean when I say Deep Purple sucks. But nobody else gets it. And to not understand my hatred of Deep Purple is to not understand Rachel Dean.
