Hey Shirley

2:26 PM : "Hey Shirley, I was thinking me and you could start a coffee fund up in the break room, you know start our own little coffee committee. Me and you could run it. What do you say? No? Well I tell you what Shirley I'll just get it started and I'll get back to you in a while with all the details."

2:31 PM : "Hey Shirley, about that coffee committee, I was thinking maybe we could get together tonight over some linguini and iron out all the kinks. No? Well think it over, 'cause I say we do it. I'll call my friend Domenick, he can get us a booth at Giovanni's. OK I see you're busy. I'll just talk to you after you get out of the ladies room."

2:49 PM : "Hey Shirley you in here? Get your goddamn hands off me Alice!! I'm checking on Shirley she's been in here for 18 minutes. Shirley!!Shirley, I'm sorry Alice is being impossible, it looks like I'm gonna have to leave the ladies room. I'll be outside smoking a Kool, we'll talk about the coffee committee later. Are you leaving at 3 Shirl? Damnit Alice don't push!!"

3:03 PM : "Hey Shirley, Oh I'm so sorry, did I startle you? I was putting some posterboards for the coffee committee in your hatchback and I must have been low on pottassium because I konked right out back here. Oh ok, I'll get out. Hey Shirl, about tonight I need your new phone number I haven't been able to...."

4:18 PM : "Hey Shirley, I was on my way back from Kinko's when I noticed you're paperboy was out on his route. Figured I'd save him a trip.What a foul mouth that kid has, huh? Don't worry about tipping him out this week I took care of it for ya. Shirl? Shirl? Hey Shirley don't you want your newspaper? It's alright I'll just leave it on your porch here."

5:04 PM : "Hey Shirley, I didn't know you took yoga here too. Small world aint it? Say who was that guy that punched me out on your porch? Excuse me sir theres no reason to push, I'm simply trying to sample a yoga class before I committ to enrollment. What's that? This is womens yoga only? Well that's clearly biased. Come on Shirl we don't need these guys. Shirl? You coming Shirl? No?"

6:01 PM : "Hey Shirley, you just getting out of Yoga now? I thought it was only an hour long class. So listen, about Giovanni's, it doesn't look good. I called my friend Domenick, and he's been holding this grudge over my head for a long time now. Long story short, we're gonna have to do dinner at your place. What's that Shirley? Your gonna kick me in the balls? Come on Shirley I'm upset too about our dinner plans not working out but OWWW!! My God Shirl you accidentally maced me.AHHH GEEZ that stings.OK So I guess I'll see you at work tomorow Shirl? Shirl?"

7:30 AM : "Hey Shirley about that restraining order, how do you want to handle that with regards to the coffee committee?..."