You’re going to like everything, I guarantee it.

George Junior: "What's up with Dad lately? He keeps guaranteeing everything. It's getting kind of annoying."

Mrs. Zimmer: "Georgie, you know after the holidays your father gets stressed. There's a lot of financial expectations for his company and it's just the way he is."

Katie: "Yeah mom. He guaranteed I would get an 'A' in Geometry. I told him I had a 'C' going into finals. I just don't think I'll get an A!"

In walks George Zimmer, CEO of Men's Wearhouse. He begins to cook up some eggs.

George Z.: "Good Morning everyone. I figure I'd cook up some eggs. Scrambled ok?"

Mrs. Zimmer: "Thanks sweetie. Yeah, that's fine!"

He whips them up faster than anything and pours everyone a glass of orange juice.

George Z: "Here you go everyone. Scrambled Eggs. You're going to love the way they taste, I guarantee it."

Mrs. Zimmer:"I'm sure we will. Oh George! They're wonderful."

George Z:"That's right! Well, I'm off to work. I'll be home for dinner, I guarantee it."


6:05 rolls around. The kids are home from school and are at the table for dinner. Chicken Cordon Bleu.

George Junior: "Dad's late! Wonder what's going on?"

The front door thrusts open. George Zimmer is bolting for the dinner table.

"Am I late?" he asks.

George Junior, "Yes, you are. I thought you guaranteed you'd be home on time!"

Katie: "Yeah, and I got a B in Geometry. You lied to us!"

Mrs. Zimmer: "You kids behave! Your father tries his best. George, maybe you shouldn't make so many guarantees, especially to the children."

George Zimmer's face gets red as a lobster.

"You people don't understand! If I don't guarantee something then what's the point? Huh? People lollygag all the time like 'OHHH, I'LL GET THERE WHENEVER. Or, MAYBE I'LL GO TO THE WEDDING. OR, MAYBE I'LL LOSE SOME WEIGHT BUT JUST NOT RIGHT NOW.' WELL, THE WORLD IS A PLACE WHERE YOU NEED TO GUARANTEE IT. AND I'VE FAILED AS A HUSBAND, A FATHER, AND AS AN EMPLOYEE!"


"Honey, you need to calm down!"

"No, you need to calm down. You see this suit I am wearing? I looked in the mirror today and I don't like the way I look! I can't even guarantee my own suits anymore! What's happening? I have guaranteed everything since 1973 when I opened my first store. You remember honey, the night in the graveyard?"

"George, don't talk about that in front of the kids?"

Katie: "What night?"

George Zimmer wells up with tears. "It was the night I made a deal with the devil. He said for 35 years everything your guarantees will come true. But you know what today is? It's 35 years to the day!"

Mrs. Zimmer: "Oh my god, NO!!"

George Zimmer: "Yes. Yes, it is!"

The kids begin to cry and there suddenly are loud knocks at the door.

George tells his wife and kids to hide in the closet. He opens the door. There is a line down the street of businessmen with suits and receipts in their hand yelling and causing a riot.

George goes and gets his shotgun. He looks in the mirror and realizes it's the end. He speaks to the mirrored image of himself. "Dear devil, just give me one more guarantee. Just One!"

For a fraction of a second, the devil appears in the mirror and gives a sarcastic nod.

"Thank you!"

George runs downstairs and opens the door. "Ok all you fuckers! Your all going to die, I guarantee it!"

He unloads shell after shell into the businessmen. Gunshots roar through the night..

Police show up and get into a gun battle with George. He's no match and takes a SWAT team's sniper shot right through the chest. As he falls to the ground gasping for air, his mind begins to fade. He lies on the ground seeing hundreds of suits stained in blood…He calls out, "Devil? How about a freebie for that Red Suit you got on?"

Magically, the blood from all the suits disappears. Any holes or imperfections fade into the night. Anyone wearing a suit has it transformed. Hems appear, jackets lengthen, 3 button suits go to 2. The colors change to make a perfect color palette to match the customer. It is truly like he died and went to heaven. As he closes his eyes to die in peace, he hears a voice.

"Dad, you guaranteed I'd get to my ball game on time. We only have 10 minutes to get there!"

George opens his eyes. It was all a dream! But it's not over….He made a guarantee. 10 minutes. That's impossible. No, it's impossible for some, but not George Zimmer. He thinks to himself, "Let's win one for the Zimmer."

"Son, let's take the corporate jet. We'll land on the ball field. You fly, I got a suit to hem on the way."

"Dad, there's no way! I don't know how to fly!"

George Zimmer picks up a shiny red suit and a sewing kit.

"Yes you do, I guarantee it."