Providence County Rescue
Roy Eldridge and Aaron McFeteridge are considered by many to be heroes. Well decorated EMT's in Providence county, Roy and Aaron work 7 double shifts per week. Certified to the top tier, you could say that they possess enough skills to run an entire emergency ward on wheels. But what few people know is that Roy and Aaron are not just EMT's, they are.....
DOUCHEBAG'S !!!!!
We join Roy and Aaron at the scene of an accident on 95 Southbound....
"Mam, don't move. We're gonna cut your seatbelt and pull you out of the vehicle." Roy yelled to the accident victim
"Yeah, Mam just relax and let Roy do his thing. And if you get bored you can just focus on that ROCKIN' SHIT you got on the radio"...
Roy forces himself to not laugh in front of the injured woman by pretending to cough into his hand
"No seriously, Mam, I love JOURNEY too"Aaron says while trying to hold back the laughter. "Let me ask you this though, did the final episode of the Sopranos give you the urge to buy this CD or have you been a cheesey person your whole life."
Roy spit the large sip of the Sprite he was taking from the can in the womans driver side cup holder all over his uniform"AHH HAHAHA,C'mon you're fucking me up here" Roy said through tremendous laughter."now help me get her outta the car."
"Oh yeah sorry. I mean we don't want our new friend to miss the 40 year old chick with feathered hair convention tonight." Replied Aaron
"AAAHHH HAHAHAHAHA. STOP IT YOUR FUCKIN KILLING ME, MAN, HAHAHAHA."cried Roy
"Mam, Mam, I promise you, you're gonna make it!! I mean you got too much to live for....especially now that the New Kids on the Block are going back on tour."
"AHHH HAHAHA. That's fucking MINT man. You are MONEY!!"
"Totally. I should do standup."
"Dude!! We lost her."
"Fuck. Alright call it and let's get her off to county so we can beat the lunch crowd to Quizno's."
"Seriously, next call don't fuck around."
"DUDE!! Check it out. This chick's got a Huey Lewis CD in here."
"Is it Sports or Fore?
"Sports"
"DIBS"
"Alright it's yours. But if it was Fore I would have fought you for it. I mean litterally fought you. I gotta brown belt too, so I'd kick your fuckin' ass."
"C'mon and help me lift here."
"Alright, alright. Here we go. This chick just went from listenin' to Journey to a ride on a gurney."
"AWWW, DUDE. Harsh bro."
"Did I go too far?"
"FUCK NO!! What are you a pussy? That was CLASSIC!!"
"Do you really think I should do standup?"
"DEFINITELY!!"
So after splitting the victims last cigarette, our heroe's, the Douchebags, drove off into the afternoon traffic to their next great conquest....Quizno's.
