Vic sat in his living room picking at his fingernails in frustration. He was so close. He had nailed the interview. It was a lock. How could something so silly cost him his first job opportunity in 5 months. Being laid off was hurting Vic. He was a Financial Analyst at a bank that tanked and left him with 2 weeks severance.
He decided this was it. He couldn’t take it anymore. Vic raised up looked in his immaculate backyard. The area had made his work since being unemployed. Trimmed bushes lined along the property line, green rye grass throughout, it was his best landscaping yet. Not bad for a city boy he thought.
Vic turned and moped up the staircase into his exercise room. The house was outside of his means and he knew it. It was for sale for a year and he had 2 people look at it. Vic just couldn’t believe what happened to him today. He wanted to take action. He had enough of people taking advantage of him and disregarding the good intention of his actions.
From the closet, he withdrew a 14 gauge shotgun. Only used twice on a company hunting trip, Vic was a good shot. He sat and turned on some Jackson Browne to calm his nerves. As he tapped his foot, he inserted the shells into the gun. He wasn’t changing his outfit for this occasion. In fact, it was the reason in the first place.
He wrapped the gun in some bath towels and got into his Malibu. He put on NPR since it ws playing classical music this time of the day. Something he shamefully knew all too well. As Vic turned into the mall, he saw the sparse cars in the parking lot. Mostly workers. Sad, he thought. But that was just the way it was. He transferred the shotgun into a large suit bag and zipped it up. He grabbed the clothes hanger at the top and straddled it across his back. He figured he’d go in through the west entrance. Where the food court was. The noise would motivate him. As he walked through the doors, he held it for the woman and her kids behind him. She walked in untouched and didn’t even pass off a thank you.
Frustrated and angry, Vic sat down near the Sbarro. Sbarro, what a joke. He looked over at the illegal immigrants who might pass for Italian to someone with limited eyesight and rage began to build up. He decided to go the Fry Rye Dragon and get a special. 7 bucks for a plate of rice. Whatever, Vic thought. He sat down at a different table and reminisced about the day. He had nailed that interview. Damnit he thought. He was oblivious what was going on the whole time. Only when he saw his reflection in the elevator afterward did he see it. Embarrassing.
He threw his Styrofoam container in the trash and walked down the hall past the eateries. His senses were heightened. He smelled danishes, coffee, chicken, and hot dogs. He felt like he had entered another dimension. He turned left and walked toward the anchor store, Hechts. The sign became blurry as he stared at it and drew closer. At the entrance, he stopped for a moment and looked at all the perfume counters and smiled. As he proceeded through the zig zag of glass cases, he looked up and saw a sign that read Menswear. He followed the arrow and saw the person he was looking for. The guy who sold him his pants.
“Hey, David, is it?” Vic asked.
“Yes, sir. Oh I remember you. How did your interview go?”
“Not good. Actually, that’s why I am here.”
“Oh, too bad. Sorry to hear that. How did those brown pants treat you.”
Vic paused and looked down at his pants. You see the pants were the whole cause of the demise that occurred today.
“That green shirt looks good on you. Knew it would go well with the pants and tie.”
Vic looked up and was astonished at the guy’s comment. He stared at him with rage.
Vic looked back down at his pants, then his shirt.
True, the pants did look brown here in the store. You could not deny that. But, that didn’t matter. What matter is how they looked in the lighting in the interview room earlier today. There, these pants were green. Together with a light green shirt, he looked like a giant pea pod. He heard the secretaries snickering at him as he left.
“David, these pants are green.”
“Hahaha. That’s funny. They’re brown sir.”
“They’re green.”
“Brown.”
Vic unzipped his suit bad and drew the shotgun.
David became awestruck and pale instantly.
“You’re coming with me. I’m gonna show you.”
Vic pressed the barrel against David as they left the store together. It was amazingly easy to get out of the mall without anyone even being suspicious. They got in Vic’s car and headed to the office where Vic had the interview.
“Sir, maybe they didn’t care about the color of your pants. Maybe you’ll get the job.”
“Shut it. It’s over.” Vic punched David in the mouth. It felt good to Vic. He wanted to do that to someone for a long time. Mainly, his old boss, but this guy would do.
They entered the parking garage and got past the security attendant. He still had his parking pass from earlier in the day.
He parked in space 158 and the two of them entered the building via the stairwell. The echo of their footsteps was eerie to Vic. It was as if he was entering the end.
They go to the main floor and signed in. Vic had his suit bag and no one asked any question. They entered the elevator and a woman entered and pressed Floor 12. That’s where they needed to go. They exited the elevator and Vic pointed to his pants.
“See?”
“Yes, they are green. Full refund. Buy one get one.”
“Too late man. Let’s go.”
Vic walked down the hall and entered the interview room. There was another candidate in there. Vic looked at him in his beautiful suit. Perfectly matched and well groomed. Vic in an furious fit began to unzip his bag. In walked Charlie Powell, the hiring manager.
“Vic. What are you doing here. Actually, I am glad you came. Can I see yo for a minute?”
Surprised, Vic replied, “Sure.”
The two left the room. Vic could see David pleading his case to the other candidate waving his hands in the air and making a gesture with a gun. The candidate looked like he believed him and got up.
Charlie noticed what was going on and became distracted from what he was going to tell Vic.
The candidate stood up and exited the interview room.
“Mr. Powell. This guy is a killer. He came here to kill us all because of the color of his pants.”
“That’s absurd. Don’t try to downgrade another candidate. That’s unprofessional.”
“But Mr. Powell, I am serious.”
“Get out of my office right now. And you too. Is this guy with you Vic?”
“No. He jut got off the elevator with me. No idea who he is.”
David looked at Vic as if he was totally insane and ran off.
“Well Vic, I was going to tell you that this guy in here was going to be our man. But since he just flaked out, I guess you’re our man. I had you as the #2 candidate and it looks like you moved up to #1.”
“Oh, Mr. Powell, I can’t thank you enough.”
“By the way, what’s in the bag?”
“Oh, a pair of brown pants I was supposed to wear today but they got stuck at the cleaners.”
“Glad to hear. I knew there was a reason you were dressed like Guido. See you Monday”
“Thanks!”
Vic got in the elevator and threw the gun atop the elevator shaft. He exited the elevator to see David and a security guard waiting for him.
“He has a gun in that bag!”
“Open the bag sir.”
Vic unzipped the bag and it was an empty hanger.
The security guard looked at David, “Sir, what kind of demented clothes salesman are you?”
