The Adventures of Marty the Meth Addict: Thanksgiving at Aunt Lucy's House
Hey Cousin, my you're getting big. Nephew? Who the hell? Hey Grandma. What's shaking you old bag? Can I get a swig of that Goldschlager? Sweet, you were always there for me gram. Ok, enough of this family shit. Hi everyone, hi to you, you too, you you little bastard. Just going to go back and check on the chickens. Boy it smells in here. I'll just seat myself between you two hens. Nice little hit before Turkey time. Wooof. BOWAAWAAWA! Rrrg. Shit. Hey what came first, the chicken or the egg?Hehehehe. What's that? Oh shit. Hey Mr. wolf. Hey Mr. Nice doggie. Ohh, no need to show those teeth. Want some meth? Hey, lemme shotgun it for you. Just stay still. There you go. Good dog now. Hey. Calm down wolf. Oh don't get all upset now. Why's your fur doing that man? Are you some kind of alien? Don't jump, just gonna back up real slow outta the coop. All You can eact chicken is on Marty today. Two drink minimum? Heheheh. It was just a joooooooooke. Ohhh! Help! Help! Marty is on the run.
Oh shit Bobby,close the door. There's a wolf chasing me. See him. He's eating the tire of Lucy's car. Don't know, he must be really upset or something. Probably teased him with all this food you guys been cooking up.
Grandma get the gun! Quick give me your necklace. Throwin it in the pan! It's sizzlin' silver! Marty the Silver chef! I'm cooking it cuz I'm gonna make a silver bullet and shoot it through his heart! No, I won't calm down. A coyote? What the? I'm not freaking out. Fine, but as soon as dinner is ready yell downstairs and I'll come up. Yell loud too, cuz I'm gonna be playing Pac Man. Stupid family. Pac Man my ass. Pac man is packing it up with some ice biatchh! Woof, Wow! Methamphetamine equals powerpelletine . HEhehe. Good hittin down here in the basement. What? Dinner's ready? I ain't hungry. I'll be up in a few. Wof! Woof! Ice is hitting on t-giving baby!
Oh, hey everyone, oh nothing, just looking at the washing machine down there. Oh you all saying some séance thing? I bet I can get the Turkey to levitate. Watch this….Dearly Beloved, Gobble Gobble, let the good lord raise the bird up and make his head begin to Bobble! Heehehehe. Oh fine, you pissants ain't worth shit. I'll be watching football while you do that pilgrim shit. It ain't the year 1345 folks! Jesus. What's on the tube? Hey Aunt Lucy, what's wrong with the reception? The antenna. I'll go fix it. On the roof? Fuck that? How about some tackle football? When are you guys going to be done eating? Here I'll help you woof it down. Give me that spoon. Mmmm. Gooth math potathoes Titha. Heehehe. Manners? What manners? I'm eating with the spoon. Oh wait a sec…Something's about to come out of my ass. Ohoooo! Marty shit himself at the Thanksgiving table. Marty shit himself at the Thankgiving table!!! Fine. I'm outta here. Hey, nephew who can't speak too good, what size waist are you?
