Thats All

When I was 28 years old, my old man gave me an ultimatum; quit the band and get a real job or he was cuttin' off the funds.

So I sold out. Throughout my career in corporate America I have had to live with that decision. It's eaten at me the whole time. You see, you can take the rock out of the rocker, but you can't take the rocker out the rock. No, wait. It's the other way around.

So at age 28 I took my first legit gig at the KFC on Garfield Ave. The year was '84. Summer of love,man. Let me tell you I've done pretty good for myself here. I'm clearing almost 8 bucks an hour now.

So last night I clock in about an hour early. you see I havent slept in 4 days and I wasn't really doing anything good anyways, so I figured I'd just start rockin the drive thru. Right off the bat my manager, this little prick name Kevin is telling me that I'm not gonna get paid for the hour because I wasn't on the schedule. I responded by kindly telling him to suck my ass. So he made me take out the garbage.

Taking out the garbage I don't mind, because while I'm out by the dumpster I'll smoke a few butts,maybe take a hit from my 1 hitter, do a few shots of JD and maybe hit on some bitches that walk by. So it works out well.

So I'm only out there for about 40 minutes and the little fucker comes out and tells me to get back to work. I head back in like 20 minutes later and then he's all up in my shit. Totally bogus. I was like 'look man, I've worked here since before you were born, I've seen over 300 managers come and go in the 24 years I've worked here and I aint taken shit from none of them and I aint starting now. Now if you'll excuse me I got a mens room to mop'.

I dig it in the mens room almost as much as near the dumpster because theres a speaker from the radio in there and I can ROCK THE FUCK OUT!! And sometimes you meet some real bitchin' dudes in there, man. This one time back in '94 a kid came in there on a Friday night and sold me some acid. I worked the drive thru that night, and the voices on the headset TOTALLY blew my mind.

So I head into the men's room, and I get to thinking. What am I doing. I used to be in a band. I was destined to be a rock star, not take orders from some 19 year old suit. And that's when it happened...the song That's all from Phil Collins era Genesis came on the radio like some sort of fuckin devine intervention.

The lyrics kicked in and I was really feelin it...

Just as I thought it was going alright,
I found out I'm wrong when I thought I was right,
It's always the same, it's just a shame, and that's all

I became overwhelmed. I kicked over the pale and punched the air dryer, leaving a FIERCE dent in its side. I wasn't taking no more shit from managers like Kevin or anyone else from then on.

I kicked the door open storming over to Kevin and started singing the song with TOTAL conviction right in front of everyone...

HOW COME IT ALWAYS SEEMS TO BE
I'M LOOKIN' AT YOU, YOU'RE A LOOKIN' AT ME
IT'S ALWAYS THE SAME IT'S JUST A SHAME
AND THAT'S ALL

Before Kevin got the glory of firing me, I announced to the whole restaurant that he could shove this job up his chicken frying ass!! And then I added...

TURNING ME ON, TURNIN ME OFF
MAKING ME FEEL LIKE I WANT TOO MUCH
LIVIN WITH YOU'S JUST PUT A ME THROUGH IT
ALL OF THE TIME

As I made my way to the door there was not just a shift in the tempo of the song on the radio, but also a change in tempo in my heart, as I realized that I'd be walking away from my life at KFC. I realized then that I love my job. I love the dumpster, the drive thru, the bitches, I mean fuckin' A I even love the chicken!! I turned back to Kevin and pleaded with him to wait. I then added....

TRUTH IS I LOVE YOU
MORE THAN I WANTED TO
THERES NO POINTING IN TRYING
TO PRETEND...
THERES BEEN NOONE WHO
MAKES ME FEEL LIKE YOU DO
SAY WE'LL BE TOGETHER
TIL THE END

Kevin agreed that I could stay and it was all water under the bridge. I was so overwhelmed with emotion that I gave him a hug. He said it was OK, and I went back to the mens room to clean the mess I made.

While in the mens room, it hit me of what a fool Kevin made of me. Who was he to tell me to clean this mess. I'm old enough to be his father, so he should be cleaning the mess. Suddenly 24 years of taking orders from the suits came back in harsh anger, and DAMNIT, I wasn't gonna take it anymore.

As the tempo had kicked up for it's final verse, I kicked the door right off it's hinges and marched back to Kevin while singing EVEN LOUDER this time...

HOW COME IT ALWAYS SEEMS TO BE
I'M LOOKIN AT YOU, YOURE A LOOKIN AT ME
IT'S ALWAYS THE SAME IT'S JUST A SHAME
AND THAT'S ALL...
THAT'S ALL...

I punched Kevin in the face and made my grand exit as the guitar solo that leads out this Phil Collins gem carried me off to glory.

Now I'm a free man. No more KFC, no more suits. I'm retired.

THAT'S ALL...